What are Swingers?

There are many myths and misconceptions around swing lifestyles (or simply “swinging”). Just what is swinging about and who are the so-called swingers?

About Swingers and Swing Lifestyles

Author: David Kamau

Swinging can be defined as the act of sharing yourself and your spouse with another couple, or other couples, with the full knowledge of all involved. It is the participants of this lifestyle who are referred to as swingers.
There quite a few myths and misconception about swinging and swingers. One common misconception is that the definition of swinging is “wife swapping.” This definition is inaccurate in that it does not explain the full range of sexual activities that swinging encompasses. It also gives the impression of a male-favored activity, which too is inaccurate as swinging involves full participation of both partners. 
Another common misconception is that swingers are older couples who are bordering on being perverted. The swing lifestyle is composed of people of all ages, including ordinary next-door types who exemplify marital happiness.
In fact, often one of the requirements for people seeking to join a swinger’s group or party is that the couple must be reasonably happy in their marriage. The reason for this is that swinging should not be used as an escape from or alternative to an unhappy relationship.
Most people find it inconceivable that one would allow his/her partner to have casual sex with another person, stranger or not. But to swingers, this is an acceptable form of social recreation.
Swing lifestyles and activities are as broad and varied as are swingers. They include:
1. Soft swinging: Also known as soft swap, this is doing everything with another person except sexual intercourse. Usually they will stop at the last minute and switch back to their original partner. At this point they might choose to have sex with their own partner in front of the other people. Many first-time swingers begin this way.
2. Open swinging: This is when the couples swap (know as full swap) and actually have sexual intercourse in the same room or on the same bed. This includes threesomes, orgies, exhibitionism, voyeurism and anything in between.

3. Closed swinging: Usually a full swap, but sexual intercourse takes place in separate rooms. This is for those who feel the need for more freedom or who don’t like interruptions. This type of swing is mainly practiced by the more experienced couples, as a higher degree of trust is essential.
Why do they do it? Why would anyone want to be a swinger? Well, the reasons are as varied as the couples themselves.
One reason is the need to explore sexual fantasies without having to “cheat” on ones partner. Maybe they just want variety in their sex lives, or good old fun. The couple may have married too young and never had a chance to “sow their wild oats.” And so on.
Does this mean that the couples never feel any jealousy? This is the biggest hurdle to overcome, especially in the beginning. Not all couples go through with it. A number of those who stick with it say that jealousy actually makes them even more sexually charged up, as well as creates deeper interest in their mates.
Some swingers claim that it is the actual giving or “letting go” in order to make the partner happy that is the essence of this lifestyle.
Obviously, not all couples can be swingers (this writer is not one) and this article is not about asking you to become one. As with anything else, swing lifestyles do carry certain liabilities and risks, which are subject of another article.

About the Author:

David Kamau writes dating articles and online dating reviews . Interested in swinging? Find the best dating sites for  swing lifestyles  now.

4 Responses to “What are Swingers?”

  1. The idea of swinging being male driven or even couple driven is one for the naive or inexperienced. Swing is driven by women, for women. Any men who participate are simply accessories. Although couples can and do trade partners, without bi women and women experimenting with other women, the swing movement would be a minor cult.


  2. Hey Randall,

    I understand your point, but I’m not so sure I agree. Certainly there have been times when I only wanted other women. However, there have been many other times when all I wanted was a well hung man, and I could care less about the women.

    Jolie du Pre

  3. Jolie! Hello My Dove.

    I must agree with you on a one-to-one basis. After all variety is what we all are seeking; however, numerically, I challenge you to go to the SLS site (or any similar) and compare bi listings to straight. We’ve found that, even where the men take the lead, it’s usually,” Hey, let’s get your bi wife together with my bi wife and we’ll watch.” Being straight in the swing market labels you as a troll.



  4. I admit I was unfamiliar with the idea of swinging (the real idea, not the rumor definitions that I normally ignore) until I first heard about Jolie’s anthology. This post really helped me better understand the concept. Thank you.

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